May 16, 2010

She's 17!

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to me C=
Yeah, i'm getting old. 17 years of living has been pretty much adventurous to me. many has changed, gone through so much, but still not enough. There're many more experiences i need to discover.

Still very tired from the party.
Supposedly my birthday was on 14th May but i held my party today on 15th May because it's weekend.
It started good. Regina and Syahirah were the early birds from school since there was an activity. They both came along with me and my dad to get my cake and buy a packet of marshmallows. We ran around in that mall like couple of kids found candyland.

Farah came just in time when our stomach were craving for food. We eat, snap pictures. eat, snap pictures until more people arrived. Syasya, Shaffrul, Aindayu, Abby and Adzram arrived respectively. After eating, Regina played my dad's guitar and Syasya played the keyboard, Shaff was playing the 'Kompang' and we made a band together. Hahah.

Husna, Irsyad and Teena came pretty late and i almost slice the cake without them cause time wasn't on my side and Syahirah needed to go back home at 3pm. When they arrived, immediately i pushed them to eat first then we bring the cake out. We sang 'Happy Birthday' song, pictures and more pictures were snapped. I sliced the cake for everyone. I couldn't help myself to wait any longer cause i really wanted to play the 'chubby bunny' game.

The game was to stuff your mouth with marshmallows as many as you could but you have to say 'chubby bunny' everytime you put another marshmallow inside your mouth. hahah. Should've seen their faces, everyone were so chubby. After that, we all walked to Wangsa Walk. It was tiring for someone who just had fever like me. Yes, i had fever on my birthday but it all worth it. Arrived at the mall 3.32 pm, such luck, the bowling was fully booked and the only movie we could watch was 'Ice Kacang Puppy Love'. hahah

We decided to buy a horror DVD movie instead and go back to my house. Husna and Irsyad bought 5 large popcorns and i bought secret recipe's beverages. The drinks weren't  ready and my dad already arrived in the long line of traffic jam. He got really pissed because he had to make another turn to fetch us. It's bad, but i always do that. Hahah, sorry dad :p
and sorry to Husna, Irsyad and Abby for scaring you guys. hahah

We watched the movie in my living room with lights off and curtains shut, eating popcorns, screams and squeals. Everything turned out quite fine. The party ended pretty late than expected but i had a blast :D

Thanks guys, for showing up on my party. Sorry for any wrongs or mistakes that happened and thanks for putting up with it. Thanks again for such great party in this last year we are having together. Im grateful for having all of you in my life. Love, hugs and flying kisses ;)

P.S: pictures will be uploaded soon.

May 9, 2010

I've figured it all out

I love figuring things out. I study people and from my observation i figure them out, also from everything that happens to me. I've figured it out. I don't exactly know what but i know i've figured it out. My mind is semiclear but i can't be sure of what that thing is that i've solved.

First, i felt this while i was watching American Idol result show. It's when Lee said something about getting overconfidence. "It's true, i criticize myself the worst" from there, a branch of thought came out and it sounds something like, "Even when i did great like what everybody said, it's still not good enough to me." Conclusion, that is what keeps him go harder and harder on himself, that's why he keeps getting better. He works hard because he thinks he's still not good enough.
To me, that's one way to be success effectively.

Next, i have figured out all the roads i can take to build myself a future in every way, in every lifestyle i can think of that is possible for someone like me to go through. There's so many but none of it is vivid. The bad side is that every possible road changes me. Might even shape me into someone i don't even like, or someone i never thought i'd ever be. But all the roads lead me to become a success and independent woman that i long to be, whether i'm happy or not. But whatever i do, whereever, whenever, whoever i become, happiness is part of it. Even if i fall in the gutter, i'd lift my head up and watch the stars beautify the midnight sky. I can feel the spark of happiness only by feeling the sun shines down on me. Because i know i live.

About those roads, i'll get to it later. So much to think, so much to write, so little time.

I always do this, somehow it brings a pinch of joy and a little chuckle to my empty soul when i see the sun shines through my finger.

May 5, 2010

I'm still standing

And then she ask me, "Aren't you sad?".

It's definitely a burden. But if there's shadow, there's light. It's best to focus on what brings joy in my life.
Problem with people and problem with studies is completely different. I don't need shits from people to waste my time, i have better and worthy things to care than them. So yes, sadness had been overwhelmed my life lately. But doesn't mean i'm out of happiness in my other hand. The only way i can bear this is by looking at the bright side where i can see the light and ignore those eerie shadows behind me that constantly try to eat me up.