January 30, 2010


These are the songs that reminds me of the people in my life. Why? cause i love music. Whenever i listen to my playlist and random song comes out i instantly get a 'flashback' or 'vision' if i must say. haha
its either that person gave/introduced that song to me or the lyric just reminds me alot about them, oor maybe i heard that song on that special moment it happened and in the future it becomes like a tag for certain memory. That's how i relive the moments, experiences and remembering my good ol' days.

Teena aka Aesha
- 'All The Right Moves' by One Republic
[cause it sounds like a chess song & she plays chess.]
- 'I Can Wait Forever' by Simple Plan

- 'One And The Same' by Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato
[we always claim we're like sisters from another mother]
- 'Lullaby' by Lucy Walsh
- 'Forever And Almost Always' by Kate Voegele
- 'Dear God' by Avenged Sevenfold
[all 3 of the above, she gave it to me]
- 'Already Gone' by Kelly Clarkson
[lyric sort of suits the moment when we had that silent-argument]
- 'Dream' by Priscilla Ahn
[from the movie Bride Wars, which also reminds me of her]

- 'True' by Ryan Cabrera
- 'Kantoi' by Zee Avi
- 'Like Only A Woman Can' by Brian McFadden
- 'Learning To Breathe' by Switchfoot
[given by her]
- 'Lagu Untukmu' by Meet Uncle Hussain
(from the show KAMI, our favourite)
- 'Big Girls Dont Cry' by Fergie
[it rains everytime we sing this song. HAHA!]

- 'When It All Falls Apart' by The Veronicas
- 'Walk Away' by Paula Deanda
[i'd consider both of the above as 'our' songs. Miss her and the moments we had]
- 'Face Down' by TRJA
- 'Watch Me Make You Hate Me' by Call The Cops

- 'Pretty Boy' by M2M
- 'Corpse Bride' piano

My Sister, Elis.
- 'Gallery' by Mario Vasquez
[screw her ex for mistreating her]
- 'Because I'm A Girl' by Kiss (korean)

- '1,2,3' by Plain White T's
[first time ever someone played a guitar and sang it to me. if she's a boy i'd fall for her. hahah]

Fatin Najwa
- 'Grace Kelly' by Mika
[first time agreed we love this song i'd swear at that moment we were connecting]

My brother, Aziq.
- 'Semua Tentang Kita' by Peterpan
[first time i heard him sing]
- 'Monsoon' by Tokia Hotel
[heard while he played it in RockBand]
- 'Heaven' by Nidji
[first time he asked me to download a song]
- 'A Little Piece Of Heaven' by Avenged Sevenfold

- 'Shake It' by Metro Station
- 'Only Exception' by Paramore

- 'Map Of the Problematique' by Muse
[his favourite when i said mine was Endlessly]
- 'Saltwater Room' by Owl City
[heard it from his friend's blog]

- 'Your Call' by Secondhand Serenade
[he gave it to me, said that he dedicated it for his gf]

- 'Wait For You' by Elliott Yamin
- 'The Kill' by 30 Second to Mars
- 'Gone' by 3 Days Grace
- 'Goodbye' by Miley Cyrus
- 'Rehab' by Rihanna
- 'I'd Lie' by Taylor Swift
- 'You're Not Sorry' by Taylor Swift
[i won't describe this part cause i dont want to remember why these songs remind me so much about him]

P.S: the beige-ish highlighted songs are the ones that makes me smile or just really hit me on the right spot of the brain. I'd love to list down all songs and names that related but it'll be too long. sorry for those name i didn't mention.

River Flows In You feat Afterthought

Singing version of my most favourite piano song, 'River Flows In You'.
Listen to it here,

its not perfect but i like it and truly appreciate the work. My most favourite song and someone put words in it to make it even more meaningful. How can i not like it, since my trials to put my own lyrics were all crappy.

I love a sentence in the lyric, 'second best is not what i needed'.
That's mostly how i feel whenever i meet new people. i dont hope much but deep inside i know myself wishing to have somebody that always make me him/her first choice to think about. Same concept with one of my favourite quote,
"Never make someone a priority when you're just an option to them"

Photoute one

Dont waste your precious breath explaining that you are worthwhile.

How I Live

Do it yourself and dont depend on others.

Two results when you depend on other than yourself.

1. you get what you want but not enough.
2. Disappointment.

Nowadays i can't stop wondering if i have my own place someday.
Like yesterday when i was watching a movie and the main character lives by herself. you can do anything. but then when i got to the bad side, i thought, it could a lonely life. That's where i have to depend on someone to be by my side. sigh*

I dont like wasting my time in disappointment. i know it's part of life. doesn't mean i can't avoid it. Why build more misery memories when you know you'd be happier without it.


Photo + Quote = Photoute (sounds more like a French meal or something. haha)


Today, I had to have my mom pick me up from school. As I was was waiting I recieved a text and since I was replying, I didn't see my mom pull up next to me, or my older brother jump out of the car. They then went on to open the car door, and throw me in, the whole time yelling "Dirve! Drive!" After I realized who it was, I stopped screaming to look out the window to find the whole parking lot of people with worried looks on their faces, assuming I had been kidnapped... best.family.ever. MLIA

Im bored. MLIA just made my day.

January 28, 2010

Read it, Breathe it, Live it.

Im loving Tumblr less than tomorrow but more than yesterday.

January 27, 2010

Keep This In Mind

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

January 25, 2010

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

I dream. That confirms im normal enough. normal is boring. but dreams aren't boring. no, they're not supposed to.
What are they really? just dreams. nothing more. rite?
my dreams are my only 'sanctuary'. i think it's been invaded by my worst nightmare.
Just a week ago, i dreamt him again. Yesterday was the latest.
my bestfriend, Aesha suggested i count it down. I think i'll try that.
but for what? i dont know. Is it going to help? i dont think so.

i'll jot down certain details here. Yesterday, it was different.
instead of white shirt and glasses like in other dreams, he was wearing a 'dry leaf' green color shirt and jeans. just like how i used to see him in real life.
maybe, just maybe, that white shirt guy i keep seeing in my dreams is the guy i thought i saw in him. i hate to admit this cause i truly dont feel this way at all. i dont miss him, God no. i miss that person i thought he was. (its hard enough for me to type this, let alone say it)
i only 'admit' this cause its the only reason i can think of. but i really really dont feel that way. i couldn't find any other word to describe those dreams other than what is given to me, the word is 'miss'.

My Tumblr

Okay. Finally, this is my Tumblr,

I post alot of it are photos & quotes. i guess blogspot is truly the root of where i bury my thoughts with my own words. Tumblr is more like the simplification, the gallery.
Just smile, enjoy, embrace it and hope you find it's beauty.

January 19, 2010

Porr Yuu!

Happy Belated Birthday, Aki.
You're 17! :o

No idea really. hope you like it :)

January 18, 2010

January 16, 2010

Out of tears

People say "crying is good for health". my dad said to me once, "women live longer than men because they throw all the loads off when they cry". i don't know about longer lifetime but it's true. we cry for happiness and sorrow, sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

i have a problem but I'm not quite sure why i consider it as a problem really. it's been awhile i haven't caught myself crying. it's been, awhile.
it's not a hobby of mine to cry but i do it sometimes. cause i know it's good for me, for my thoughts to rest and let all emotions out until it gets to work again.
i just couldn't find the right emotion that could bring out the tears. Honestly, sometimes i feel like i ignore too much emotions that i can't even figure what im feeling at the moment.

Ever since i got over him, i just couldn't find myself to cry anymore. It's like im out of reason to cry or my emotions just not enough for me to let it out.
i feel the loads on me sometimes. like when i think about where i stand now.
im finishing high school, im finishing schooling but i still haven't figure out the right career. i just lost her as a bff or bestie but i gain her back as a friend. im facing examinations and trials but i still can't win the fight with my laziness.
i take deep breath alot nowadays, but it does nothing.

im stress and i can't feel any emotions. the only reason im still standing is because i want to live. i depend on laughter to bring me up each day and to make it all worth waking up for.

January 15, 2010

To most girls

"The wrong people always look so right to me."

January 13, 2010

Barely Personal

Im keeping my Tumblr personal & private, perhaps just for now. im not really active in it since it's still new to me & im busy with much important stuffs. so i dont see any reason to 'promote' it.
i want everything to be stable first only then maybe, maybe i'll give the address.
part of me wants it to be personal but then again my brother already in my following, not so personal afterall. haha

January 11, 2010

Instant Quote

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.— David Russell

January 10, 2010

Not a Goodbye

To my dear Blogspot,
Sorry to say that i wouldn't be able to write you more often. This year is all about the BIG exam. I couldn't make you as my first thought before it even if i want to. So im focusing on study study study. Despite more dramas keep occuring in my life i've to get my priority straight.
One more thing, i just made an account in Tumblr. I know i said i probably wouldn't but i did, too much temptations. Then again i started thinking of doing it since i realize my blog here isn't so fun anymore and not so safe afterall. i expected readers to just read and understand, not to spy, judge or anything else. and so i decided to open up to Tumblr. Dont worry Blogspot, you'll always be my first place to share half the story of my life.
I'll be visiting you when i have the time.


January 7, 2010

More Quotes

Is it wrong to leave just so you'd know if you're important to them?
I dont think so.
If you are important to them, congratulations. All the careness you've given to them in the past was worth it.
If you're not, or you dont know cause they dont even care to tell you, then maybe leaving was the right choice after all.

January 5, 2010

It's like 1,2,3.

I felt like a teddy bear on first day of school today. haha
Given all my friends my bear hugs just like i promised in my New Year's wish.
Definitely one of the best reunion i've had. While assembly, husna said something about not believing we're going to school today. I mean are you sure it's school day? hahah
Then i said, "Well next year we'll be wondering, are you sure we're NOT going to school?". We're seniors! Gah! still cant believe it's our last year schooling, wearing uniforms (aww, im gonna miss this.not.).
I got front seat just like i wanted, thank God i dont have to sit behind those noisy farting boys in my class.
I wonder if there's going to be new student attending my school. nahh, probably not it's too risky.

It's funny, today i went through all channels for great shows on tv but i've seen it all. Finally i saw this asian drama, Boys Before Flowers. Remembered that i used to watch chinese/taiwanese/japanese/korean dramas all the time when i was in primary school.
i watched it anyway, and man, how i've forgotten how cute chinese looking boys are. I've always like chinese looks. grinning*
dang you Astro, trying to get me back to the memory lane ;p

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Bloo: Being a burden is great. It's like my... seventh favorite thing to be.

Eduardo: Azul, you are not el perrito!
Bloo: I most certainly am not a burrito!

Mac: What do we do? Nothing is working.
Bloo: Then it's time to take drastic actions, and I've got just the plan. Operation Abe Lincoln Drop Purple Scaredy Cat Run and Scramble. From the arboreal vantage point, we shall unleash the ultimate weapon, creating a devastating chain reaction the likes of which the galaxy has never known!
Mac: What?
Bloo: I drop this fake spider on Eduardo, he freaks out, and everyone runs away.

Bloo: [an imposter Bloo is trying to get Mac to give him Ice Capades tickets] Mac, look me in the eyes. You know it's me. Think of all the times we've had together, think of the special bond that only best friends can share. Mac, you complete me. I... I love you.
Mac: Yeah, okay, sappy. It's definitely not you.

Bloo: [disapprovingly] I don't know whose plan this was.
Wilt: It was yours.
Bloo: And it's genius!

Eduardo: This is for Frankie. What is two plus three?
Frankie: Uh, five?
Eduardo: SeƱor Herriman?
Mr. Herriman: Of course it's five, you numbskull.
Eduardo: Azul?
Bloo: Well, Ed, my opponents say five. But you know what I say? Five is not good enough! I say six, or seven, or even forty-two!

Mac: Quit it, Bloo!
Bloo: What? I'm just trying to clean.
Mac: Spraying air freshener isn't cleaning.
Bloo: Is too! I'm cleaning the air. Cleaning and freshening.
Frankie: Well, go find some other place to clean and freshen, would ya?
Bloo: Fine, if that's how you feel about it. But don't come crying to me when your air gets all stale and filthy.
Frankie: [annoyed] I'll keep that in mind.

January 3, 2010

Oh hey, it's school again.

I was reading someone's status on facebook. Someone's status was "Why does there have to be school tomarrow" someone commented "Because you spelled tomorrow wrong." - MLIA

I'm Up For Anything

"Books make people less alone", i think its true.
Ever since the first day of new year some drastic changes keep occuring around me.

1st Jan 2010
On new year's countdown me and my bestfriend, Aesha counted every second together in the phone before we made a promise to ourselves. Then my brother cooked me some midnight supper. A very decent celebration for the end of a new beginning.
That Friday my parents supposed to 'balik kampung' to Melaka but since it was only for 2 days and both my siblings weren't going so i decided for the first time not to go. It's another step for me to be indenpendant, sort of.
After my parents departed, me and my brother both went to do our stuffs. That stuff was putting up our 'furniture' for our room we bought from Ikea the other day. I had to clean my room first only then i can put up the furniture. When suddenly i smelled something downstairs so i thought my brother must've been heating up the side dish my mom left for us. Only to find that my brother had burned the only side dish for us to eat. we went out for dinner that night, his treat. haha

2nd Jan 2010
For the first time in my life, i cooked rice. Let me repeat that for you, Aesha. Yes, i cooked rice. LOL
It was perfect! except for the part i cooked too much. Beginners mistake. hee
Oh and my brother cooked a side dish but i didn't get the chance to taste it cause he cooked it after i already ate.

3rd Jan 2010
Guess what im wearing? It's shiny, it's purple, it changes my look and it makes me see the world differently.
I got my glasses today. A bit dizzy now, my eyes still trying to adapt with it.

In 3 days so much have changed. it might be small things but it matters to me. Why is 2010 the end of a new beginning? Because it's obviously the last year for being where i am now before taking a step to another side of a new perspectives and surroundings. I'm excited.

'I can never read all the books I want;
I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want.
I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want?
I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.'
-Sylvia Plath

January 2, 2010

Common but True

Agree on every word in this.

I Promise I Wont Miss You, 2009.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen
if everyone in the world jumped at the same time.

Hello, 2010. 
Happy 2nd January of 2010 world!