October 23, 2010


This year is the toughest for me. What's worst is how empty it feels in my chest.
I thought I needed someone who could make me feel so special to them. Someone who I haven't met yet.
I need somebody to love me and only me.

Recently, I found a black kitten in my school. At the same time, Buzz the turtle, my family's pet died. My dad took it the hardest. It has been part of the family for  about14 years. I had the urge to bring the kitten home and I did. I figured it might be my new bestfriend. The one I could talk to and get comfort. It's like my new baby.
But my dad always keep interrupting when I try to bond with it. I figured since I brought it home then it's technically mine. I named him Mute cause he doesn't meow much. But my dad named him Tam. I disagreed, but we both didn't want to give up the names. I hated that my dad keeps trying to win his love more than me.

I know what you're thinking, love. It's common jealousy. I don't deny that's true. But I know I deserved Mute's love more than him because I took him. I deserved more love because, I don't get much from anyone. It's funny, I figured that the reason I brought him home was because I thought maybe this little animal will give the love I needed when I don't get much from human beings. But instead, my dad overshadowed me and I lost another host to love.

It gives me another reason to leave everything and get my own life. I need to go somewhere else.