My eyes shut hard wishing i could somehow teleport myself somewhere else. Place where no one's cheering his name. And i thought to myself, this is only a minor bumper and i've already felt like this. What if the major is he himself standing right in front of me? What would i do? Or worst, will i be able to breathe?
Today, my school's headmistress retired and they held one hell of a farewell ceremony. I didn't want to come at first but i figured i got nothing to lose so i went. Thought that both my friends who insisted me to come would make it at least less boring but boy, how i was right about i should've not attended school today.
Starting was okay, but then we got to the part where i knew i'd be bored to death when Syasya and Regina start talking to themselves once we sit in the hall.
For those friends i have, some didn't come and others took part in the performances. So i stucked with those two, and dont get me wrong, i love them but it's so predictable how i'll end up. Sometimes it happens so many times to you with different friends but same attitude makes you an unofficial psychic to excellently predict what and how the rest of the day with them will go. Yes, i study people alot.
Fast forward those speeches blah blah blah and we get to the performances.
Overall it wasn't that bad. They gave their all, i like that. But then came an unexpected guest for the day, a famous local singer came and performed two of his songs. I won't mention his name here cause it's Z, he's not Z. They just have the same freakin name. Here's the problem, apparently only for me, i don't hate him but definitely not a fan of him making his appearance there. I think i was the only girl didn't waste my voice shouting for him. Blame Z for that, if i had never met Z i'd probably enjoyed his performances thoroughly.
To make this clear that im not being overly shallow i'll explain why.
He, the singer, is like the reflection of Z. They're almost the same. He was a very chubby teenager (fat is a strong word) and got thinner and muscular. He sings, plays guitar, involves in music. Those cute chinese eyes that i adore so much. The only differences are Z's alot fairer and was an ass to me.
Anything, anything that reminds me of Z makes me numb, it depresses me. Even the singer's songs remind me of him. So yeah, i was depressed he came and sang those songs which fyi, it doesn't make any sense to me why im listening to it now in my playlist. Can you blame me for being vulnerable and irritated whenever it pokes me? sigh.
Enduring the pain..that's all i can do most of the time. The crowd kept screaming his name but it was too numb to feel the excruciating pain. But i guess i should mention this, the singer did made me laugh with his undeniable cute clumsiness. Maybe that's why i don't mind listening to his songs now.